I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
