dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize
