i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My vagina just recognized that song.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
