I'm jealous of your bromance
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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