She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
