She announced her abortion via fbk
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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