Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
whose ass print is on the piano?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
