Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
