i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
someone threw a dead crab at me
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
