Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
