Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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