Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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