I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
