You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
