Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
