dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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