i jhust puked up my retainher.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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