Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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