Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
