So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
