His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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