talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
