That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
