If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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