I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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