Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
