He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I will be naked everywhere
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
