yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
