It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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