dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
