areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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