Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
