I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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