he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
