Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
