yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
