My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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