Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
