Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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