whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
