Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
