Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize