hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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