I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
