ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize