Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
