I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
