woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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