On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
