I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize