he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize