Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
