i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
