your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Please, let me fuck your mom
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
