I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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