i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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