just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
