i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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