talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
